From as far back as I can remember, I have cried. I came into this world crying, somehow showing the doctors I was normal, and I’ve cried for many reasons throughout my life. Tears are proof that we do have emotions and we need to release our emotions somehow. Tears are cleansing and come out for a variety of reasons.
I can remember the tears of sadness and pain when I learned of my dad losing his job at the bank and again when he got injured at work. Then after finding out he would never walk again, more tears. I cried when losing people in my early life like Uncle Bob, Bart Flenniken (my best friend), Scott Greever and Casey Angel. And more recently losing 3 friends in their thirties to cancer like Andrea Dobbs.
But I’ve also experienced tears of anger. Like when I was so angry because I had screwed up a relationship or when I was so angry at a friend for breaking my heart. Tears of anger on September 11, 2001 because of what was happening and also tears of worry on that day because I knew my brother could be in the Pentagon and I couldn’t reach him.
Tears of confusion and frustration over job, church and family issues and just not knowing where to turn or how much worse things could get. But finding out in the long run that it was always God’s plan and getting to see the growth that came from it.
I’ve also experienced tears of joy in my life. When Christy said yes to going out on a first date, then more tears when she said yes to a second date, even though I had forgotten her name on our first date. Joyful tears when she said yes to marry me and on our wedding night. Again when we found out we had a baby on the way and tears of worry when I found out our first would be a girl. Tears of excitement when we found out we had a second baby on the way and tears of a proud dad when I realized I would have a prince to go along with my already perfect princess. More tears of happiness and worry when I realized they would be looking at me every step of their life as to what to do and what not to do. I hope I’ve not let them down and I pray that I never do.
As I sit back and think, I realize that God intended us to have tears for cleansing and release. I’ve learned it’s okay to just let the flood gates open on my emotions because without them being open, I have a tendency to get down and be depressed. I’ve also realized that with every tear, there’s growth. No matter how happy or sad, when I look back at every tear, I see a lesson learned. I see the things my dad was able to teach me while not being able to walk. I learned from my Uncle Bob that the bonds of brotherhood are meant to be solid no matter what and that you can show someone love just by squeezing their hands while in a coma. I’ve also learned that no matter what age, you’re going to lose friends and family and it’s all in God’s plan. I’ve also learned that tears of joy are just as releasing as tears of worry, pain or sadness.
But through every tear, I’ve found that if you could bottle every tear from either pain, sadness, worry or joy, you would have one heck of a story to share. Don’t be afraid to share your story. I have many more tears to come for a variety of reasons and know my tears over the years have been worth it. I pray that you also see your tears as worth every tear.
I love you all!