Alice sat and remembered back to her childhood. Her dad talked to her about life, love and God. She vaguely remembered what her dad talked to her about but it was coming back faster than she could have imagined.
All she could say was “if you wanted my son, why did you ever give him to me. Why did you allow me to give my heart to John and then you take him away. He was a good boy God. Why all the pain, why the accident, why no father to teach him. He gave his life to you and now this? God, why are you leaving me alone?” Again, she sat alone. Silence came back and there was a feeling she had finally made her point to God.
She had been alone before John arrived. Just after her dad died in a plant explosion 18 years earlier. She remembered back to when she was 19. It was in the middle of the night when the first phone call she’ll never forget came. Her dad was working the nightshift at an oil refinery and something went very wrong that night. There was an explosion and Alice was the only family her dad had and he was the only family she had. She had never met her mother because she died while giving birth to Alice.
After her dad’s death, she turned to the streets, drugs and men for comfort. She got pregnant, dropped out of school and had many jobs. Her only true peace and love was her son John. He had brought her so much fun, peace and love to her but now, as she did 18 years ago, she sat alone, searching.
But one more time she heard “John was mine, not yours. I only gave him to you for a short time and now I have called him home.” And for the first time in her life, she listened to the voice inside her. She fought and fought to not listen but she knew it couldn’t be ignored this time. She knew God’s plan for her life was perfect no matter what. She remembered back to her father’s words. “Give it to God Alice and He will walk you through it.”
So this time, as her dad’s voice echoed within her, she did. As she sat crying over John’s body, she knew where he was. He was with the granddad he had never met and who had never met him and he was with his Father. The Father who allowed her to have 17 wonderful years with him and had called him home. It was hard to let him go but it was comforting this time.
She had lost her son but she knew she was not alone. Not this time or ever again.